Module 1: Poetry Break: School/Library/Books

They Don't Do Math in Texas

By Kalli Dakos

Introduction: This poem expresses exaggerated details of a school left behind. Read the poem aloud with the voice of Kate and the other student to further distinguish between the two characters (bring it with attitude).

They Don't Do Math in Texas

Kate used to live in Texas.
I'd like to shoot her to the moon,
Or into another galaxy,
Whenever she says the word Texas.

"In Texas," Kate says,
"I was in sixth grade,
Instead of just in fourth
Like I am here."

"In Texas the kids stayed up
All night watching television
Because school didn't start
Until four o'clock."

"In Texas we only did math
In kindergarten.
Once we learned that
One plus one equaled two
We never had
To study math again."

"In Texas we only went to school
On Mondays and Fridays,
And every classroom
Had a popcorn machine,
A drink machine,
And a candy machine
With five different chocolate bars
And six choices of gum."

"In Texas we ate chips
And drank root beer
While we did our schoolwork."

"In Texas I was
The smartest kid
In the whole school.
I always had A's
In every subject
And for five years
I never had
One question wrong."

"In Texas
Everyone was my friend,
But my best friend was Jake."

"We practiced judo together,
Cooked our wild chili recipe for lunch,
And painted the colors
Of the desert
On canvas,
With our easels side by side."

"In Texas wild horses
Roamed as free as the wind.
For recess we went for long rides
In the sagebrush
And over the mountains."

"We rode as long as we wanted,
And when we turned back
The sunsets lit up the entire sky
With golden treasures."

"In Texas I was pure gold,
While here I'm just another rock."

I kind of feel sorry for Kate,
Even though I'd blow her to the moon
With the blink of my eye
If I could.

I'd like to ride in the sagebrush
At recess,
And see that golden sky,
And never do math again.

But I really don't believe
They have popcorn machines,
And drink machines,
And candy machines
In every classroom.

You'd have to go farther
Than Texas for that.
You'd probably have to go
To another galaxy
Before you'd find a school
That lets students
Drink root beer
And eat chips
While they do their work.

I do hope Kate learns
To like her new school
Before everyone
In our class
Hates her.

As for me,
I'm asking my mom and dad
to get new jobs

In Texas!
Just in case!

Dakos, Kalli. 1990. They Don't Do Math in Texas from If You're Not Here, Please Raise Your Hand. New York: Four Winds Press.

Children’s Choice Selection
International Reading Association
1991

Extension Activities: Have students verbally tell an exaggerated story comparing their hobby/sport to all of the other hobbies/sports on earth. Prove that your hobby/sport is the best, most popular, and greatest ever.

Photo Courtesy of: http://www.dontmesswithtexas.org/index.php